UNC storming, Ole Miss trolling don’t make the grade
Welcome to the latest edition of the report card in 2021, where you will find a more light-hearted look for each weekend as we head into the homestretch of the college football season. Grades are handed out where it’s deemed appropriate.
There is no grading on a curve here, so failing marks have zero chance for being reversed and passing ones are handed out less frequently. (Again, reminding people that emails and complaint tweets will be deleted).
Last week’s failing grades went to SMU’s late game kickoff off coverage, Clemson covering the point spread, with high marks going to Ken Jeong’s College GameDay performance and outstanding play from a Florida State back.
So here is the Week 10 analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:
Tar Heel stormin’
Storming the court or field after the home team delivers a big upset has become commonplace in college athletics, but because people don’t simply don’t want head to the exits and go home to celebrate anymore, they have to risk each other’s safety for no valid reason. (Arizona winning a game for the first time in two years and giant killer Purdue doesn’t get a pass here either and if you don’t agree, read what else happened on Saturday.)
The tradition is honestly, played out, and the schools whose field was stormed will be hit with big fines from the commissioners who have better things to do, like find the next big paycheck from conference realignment.
The latest example of this happened in Chapel Hill, when North Carolina beat Wake Forest 58-55 in a game that featured 1,161 total yards of offense and 22 accepted penalties. Serious question for Tar Heel fans. Why? And because you wanted to isn’t going to fly.
Wake Forest isn’t a juggernaut in any sense of the word, having just been ranked in the top 10 of the first time ever and has exactly ONE season of 10 wins or more in 114 years of playing football.
Security lapse: F
No. 1 in the country, No. 1 on the mic
Georgia head coach Kirby Smart hasn’t had much to worry about this season. His Bulldogs have bulldozed the competition, leaving many to change the channel at halftime. On Saturday against Missouri, Smart most likely was bored and decided to stir it up with his players.
His team was up by 13 in the second quarter, and the offense was called for an Ineligible receiver downfield penalty. Well apparently, that was enough to set Smart off. Standing next to an official, Smart can clearly be heard saying “Move the (expletive) ball!”
Georgia certainly had no trouble moving the ball all day, racking up 505 yards of total offense in a 43-6 rout over Missouri.
Mic check, one, two: B
Almost no one outside of Oxford, Mississippi and Lynchburg, Virginia paid attention to Ole Miss taking on Liberty, maybe except the dozen or so NFL scouts there to watch the two starting quarterbacks.
Among the storylines was Liberty coach Hugh Freeze returning to Ole Miss with his new team. After the Rebels dispatched the Flames 27-14, that’s when the shenanigans began.
It started from the Ole Miss official Twitter account, which posted “If you have complaints about this result, send it to email@example.com. If not, please do not slander these young men or insult their family.”
For those with a great memory, this is what Freeze, when he was at Ole Miss, tweeted in 2013 in response to alleged violations: “If you have facts about a violation, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. If not, please do not slander these young men or insult their family.”
The stupidity didn’t stop there with the Ole Miss account tweeting Freeze giving a thumbs up from a hospital bed from a press box, with the words of “Won the Day.”
Freeze, who quit Ole Miss in 2017 after it was found that he made calls to an escort service, coached Liberty against Syracuse in 2019 from a hospital bed in the press box as he recovered from a staph infection. Praising trolling is a staple of the Report Card, but this was totally unnecessary and not very funny.
Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin apologized for the tweets, which he had nothing to do with, calling it “disrespectful, bush league and classless.”
Freeze tag: D-
This week in weirdness came from Austin, where it was reported that the pet monkey belonging to Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks’ girlfriend ruined Halloween and possibly many upcoming holidays by allegedly biting a trick-or-treater. (No word on the condition of the injured person).
While this wouldn’t normally make news, when you throw in the words “Texas” “monkey” and “pole assassin,” — part of Danielle Thomas’ Instagram username (and former Twitter username) – there is no reason the Report Card could stay away.
College GameDay host Rece Davis decided to get in on the fun, while Iowa State fans were more than ready for comedy when the Longhorns visited Ames on Saturday, as the above tweet clearly demonstrates. Pay attention, Ole Miss. This is how you troll.
Monkey business: A
And a special shoutout goes to the fox that roamed the field and the stands at Sun Devil Stadium when Arizona State took on USC. Not sure if it was the same one from the Oklahoma-Texas game at the Cotton Bowl, but this one finally escaped and left the stadium through the tunnel.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: College football Week 10 recap: Tar Heels fans storm field after win